There’s no such thing as a bad blowjob, right? Wrong. This isn’t a post about prostitutes. It’s about any blowjob. Some girls got it. I know I do. Some girls don’t.

If you’ve been around the block, you’ve probably gotten a few sucky BJs. If you’ve been lucky and dodged these just read some reviews of some escorts—they are toothy, have bad rhythm or go too fast or too slow, have too little or too much suction. Maybe it’s too sloppy wet or dry as fuck. Maybe she used too much hand or too little? Maybe, you prefer hands-free.

not all guys want the same technique

Obviously, the best blowjob is the one to match your style. As I’ve mentioned before, not all guys want the same technique that you happen to love. Some guys will love it, some will be OK with it, and some will thinks it’s just shoddy cocksucking.

Some guys like me to just suck the tip and others want deepthroat, but taking deepthroat and giving good head aren’t the same thing.

I’ve had guys ruin their own blowjobs

Some guys need to control the action, and some girls want to take the lead. Believe it or not, I’ve had guys ruin their own blowjobs trying to guide the me only to misguide me. If you are a guy that needs to chill and relax, then trying to play director is going to throw you off your game.

Why might she not deliver a good blowjob? First, maybe, she’s not reading your cues. Maybe, she’s used to giving head a certain way and doesn’t know the different strokes for different folks rule.

Maybe she’s afraid you’ll cum in her mouth.

Maybe she’s just not into it on that day. Or maybe she’s not really into sucking cock in the first place. Maybe she’s afraid you’ll cum in her mouth. Maybe you are having a bad day. Maybe the condom is interferring with your mojo.

The best providers will get to know you and what you like—and fast. And they’ll remember. You can always coach the cocksucker, but some girls don’t respond well to that.

And then there’s the guy who needs to change things up. One day, he needs hands. The next day, he wants hands-free.

I suck cock and I know things

Anyway, I am a good cocksucker because that’s what I do. I suck cock and I know things.* I am accommodating and have a natural sense. Guys have told me they can’t get off orally. I showed them otherwise. Guys have told me they can’t cum with a condom. I’ve proven them wrong. Last but not least, some guys are on medication that fucks with their erections, but 99 times out of 100 I can still make you cum and feel good even if the little man doesn’t stand at attention. The best thing about oral sex from a guy’s perspective is that he doesn’t even need to get hard to get off. If this is you, keep this in mind, and give me a call. And you might end up getting it up and off.

* Extra points for the reference

Bad Blowjobs

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6 thoughts on “Bad Blowjobs

  1. Yes, “You know things”, an attribute that is not common among many women.

    And yes, you can do mind-blowing things that many are not good at – if they know what I mean.

  2. Funny a bad blow job is still kinda good because you’re still getting a blowjob especially if you haven’t had one in a while.

    That being said, what actually makes a blowjob bad is when you have had the experience of a string of very good blowjobs so now you have the ability to compare. Essentially your blowjob standards have been raised and your body seeks out that standard or a level even higher. It’s no different then what drug addicts do when chasing a high.

  3. One other thing, I can usually tell if a blowjob isn’t going to be all that good even if she didn’t even start yet. If she says, “just don’t cum I’m my mouth” or “do you take long?” she’s probably not going to be good.

  4. Hope you’re doing well, haven’t seen anything new in a while. I’ve been visiting family and can’t drop in but I will definitely be in touch soon.

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