Good Reviews

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I may have written about this before, but I want to write something on the other side of Bad Reviews.

reviews are not always reliable

Guys rely on escort reviews as much as we do as providers. Unfortunately, reviews are not always reliable. Some are outright fabricated. Some are exaggerated—for better, for worse, and even mixed in the same review. Some leave out important details. But they can all cause problems in their own way. I’ve already written about the bad ones, and how those are bad are pretty obvious anyway, so what’s wrong with a good one?

If a guy is trying to decide whether to call a girl he hasn’t seen and calls her because of a good review or two, but the review is exaggerated, maybe he’s looking for a service that’s not on her menu or is an up-charge. Maybe the review says or implies that she offers bare full service (BBFS), but she doesn’t. Or that she swallows or takes anal but doesn’t. He is going to assume because of the review that she does, and he’ll be disappointed and maybe write his own negative review—not through any fault of the provider. Only that his expectations were not met. The good review had gotten his hopes up.

maybe he’s looking for a service that’s not on her menu

Keep in mind that a guy might read several reviews of girls supposedly offering BBFS. Other providers might feel pressured to offer this thinking they need to compete for the business—except that it was never true in the first place.

Speaking of other providers, they are another possible source of too good to be true reviews. They might go out of their way to write or have a friend or customer write a fake ‘good’ review that might turn some guys off, for example, saying that ‘I loved that she let me give her a cream pie’ or ‘she let me raw dog her ass’ or ‘she sucked off my Great Dane because I’m into that’. You get the idea. Think of something not negative that would cause you to cross a girl off your list, and image you read it in a review. And other guys are gonna key into it and fall into the disappointed category I already mentioned.

she’s a cunt

There is one more thing I’ll mention about bad reviews. The half-true review. In this case, the negative thing the guy wrote about was true, but he left out the parts leading up to it. An example might be a guy showing up for an hour date with a donation for a half hour (or less). In the review, he tells about how she ‘left after 30 minutes’ or ‘was mechanical and didn’t seem into it’. If you knew the omitted reason, your opinion might change from ‘she’s a cunt‘ to ‘he’s a dick‘. But he doesn’t want to come off as a dick and somehow thinks that it’s OK to show up at a place—let’s say that you are buying a used car you’ve negotiated down to $2,500—with only $1,000 in hand. When he tells you to take a hike, you write a bad review about how you drove for over an hour and he wouldn’t even listen to what you had to say—or that he takes off the 4 new tires and other upgrades to make the value more in line with your offer, only to have you write in your review how yo paid good money for a car and this guy did you wrong but changing out the tires. This sort of thing happens. All the time.

some guys just fancy themselves as aspiring porn writers

To end this on a more positive note, I think some guys just fancy themselves as aspiring porn writers and figure reviews are a good place to practice. Other guys might have had a lackluster performance on their part and despite that fact that the only ones who would know about this is the two of us, he feels the need to write about how he wished or hoped the date would go, and so it comes out more like a porno script than a historical event. And then there are the ones who we’ve never met. They are just making up stories out of their imagination.

There is one last possibility that I am thinking of, and that’s reviewing the wrong provider. You meet with Jill and somehow you end up reviewing Jane. Jill is thinking, “Why doesn’t anyone write reviews about me?” And Jane is thinking, “Who the fuck is this guy?”

by all means, write reviews

So by all means, write reviews. Tell the world about the good, the bad, and the ugly. But keep it honest. Don’t add or omit details that help another person to judge whether or not to see one girl or another. And do remember to include not only things you feel are important, but remember to consider what some other guys might think are important. A good example might be that you don’t happen to have a foot fetish, but you notice that a girl has pretty feet or an awesome shoe collection—or maybe she just mentioned that she caters to guys who like this or that. Of course, she should be advertising these things and maybe even does, but the added endorsement will probably go a long way.

BONUS ROUND

a spinner who likes to ride

The more you review, the better your reputation will be in the reviewing community. And people will see what you are into and if their taste is in line with theirs. If your preference is thicc girls who love to deepthroat and another’s is for a spinner who likes to ride, he might know to discount your reviews and vice versa.

BONUS ROUND 2

come in and get a nice blow & go

Some of you may have noticed that many of my reviews and comments are by the same people. Obviously, these are regulars. Every few months or so, they feel inspired to write another one. For many or not most guys, there is not a lot of drama and it won’t make for a great porno script. But is still makes for a valid review. In fact, since most guys are in this category, it may make ordinary guys feel that they don’t have to perform at porn star level, that they can just come in and get a nice blow & go or an easy short stay. There would be nothing wrong or inappropriate with a review that said something like:

We kissed when Stacey opened the door

“We kissed when Stacey opened the door. We went to her bed where she dropped her robe and bent over. I fucked her for about 3 minutes. She escorted me to the door and smiled and waved.”

That’s all some guys want to know. It might not win any writing awards, and you might not want to give up your day jobs, but it helps. Commenting on my site—especially on my Reviews page—is fine, but almost half of my new business comes from Erotic Monkey. This is a paid site, so you can’t really read the reviews without subscribing—which is also why I copy all of them to my Reviews page when I see them—, but everyone can see the number of reviews. And no girl is going to have 100 bad reviews and still be in business, so any provider with a lot of reviews has probably been in the business for some time and likely has good or at least mixed reviews, so getting that number up helps even for those who can’t read the reviews. And as much as guys protest, they want a girl who knows what she’s doing and has seen a lot of guys who can vouch for her—that she’s real, that she’s not law enforcement, and she’s not a rip-off artist.

Homework Assignment:
If you’ve ever seen me, write an honest review.

GAME OVER